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James Bauhaus 88367
8607 SE Flowermound Rd
Lawton, OK 73501

June 28, 2007

OK Department of Health
1000 NE Tenth Street
Oklahoma City, OK 73117

Dear Sir or Ms,

A simple glass of milk can kill you in this prison. Or it can give you a hideous, deadly or chronic disease such as AIDS, hepatitis or tuberculosis. How? Consider the way milk is served in a nasty, incompetently run Oklahoma prison called “Conner”.

The milk is served behind a counter. At the sides, sitting on this counter, are two huge milk refrigerator dispensers. Two inmates stand behind the counter, filling glasses one by one, setting them in the three feet wide space between the milk machines.

There are pools of spilled milk from each of the four spigots to the counter in which up to thirty glasses of milk can be placed, when they get ahead, waiting to be picked up, one by one, as the line of inmates passes.

I say the prison is incompetently run, in one instance, because the authorities here never chose to purchase enough glasses. Because of their decision to operate this 1,000 man prison with too few glasses, the line often has to stop for used glasses to be collected, hurriedly washed and rushed back to the milk and coffee lines.

This decision to operate with a shortage of everything, particularly glasses, sporks and food trays, causes disease transmission. These are some of the multitude of ways in which this occurs:

Glasses are taken up by the line of hungry inmates from the front of the holding tray. Glasses are added to the tray by the serving inmates from the back. Very quickly there is no more room to add full glasses to the back. Thirty full glasses can not be pushed to the front without a lot of individual handling and much spillage and cost of time. It is tedious to place thirty glasses, one by one, ten inches closer to the front to make room for more in the back. The inmates dispensing the milk are ignorant, uncaring, lazy and ill educated. Plus, they do not often “believe” in germs. They, of course, do things the easiest way that they can get away with; they lift each newly filled glass out of its puddle of milk and pass it, dripping all the way, over all the other glasses of milk to set them at the front. Not a single inmate objects to this, apparently because they either can’t see that this is equivalent to drinking out of a puddle of spilled milk, or, they would just as readily drink from a contaminated puddle as a clean glass.

All the inmates except the Asian-descended ones are milk-hogs who resent being restricted to one glass of milk three times per week. Most of us can resist the urge to cheat, but the inmates most statistically prone to harbor deadly diseases are the very ones who are unable to control their greed and resentment. Take, for example, that which I observed just this morning that served as the impetus for my writing this health alert. A rotten-toothed inmate decided to indulge his greed for milk in the line today. He stopped the line to quickly slug down a glass of milk. By shoving his face between the milk dispensers, he hid his theft from the cop camera and the serving guard who often watches for this exact, same, very common, inmate behavior.

While the foul-mouthed inmate was slugging down this glass of milk before the guard could catch him at it, milk from his lips and glass dribbled down into the full glasses just underneath his gulping throat; not much, but some, and this is the same as him spitting into the mouths of each unsuspecting inmate to come after him.

One inmate dispensing the milk knew that this filthy-habited ignoramus was next going to do as they all did and grab another glass of milk to take with him. He only sees this occur a hundred or more times per milk-day morning. That adds up to a hundred extra glasses, and a hell of a lot more standing around behind the milk dispensers for him while they wait for another hundred glasses to be collected, washed, returned and re-filled. When he catches sight of one of these many milk hogs going through their routine of duck, chug, grab another and run, he takes the hog’s empty glass and tries to refill it for him so he doesn’t waste another clean glass on the milk hog. In this case he didn’t get the chance to hand this used, dripping glass over all the other filled glasses and give it back to the milk hog, re-filled. The hog inmates are usually so scared of getting caught by the milk cop that they swiftly wipe the tell-tale white sludge off their fat, hairy lips, snatch up a new glass and hurry up to get their trays. By this time, the milk cop/tray passer is scowling at them for why they were holding up the tray line. Meanwhile, the milk dispensing inmate is left holding rottencraw’s used and contaminated, yet full, glass of milk. What does he do? He shrugs, then quietly places rotten-craw’s re-filled glass in line to be swilled by some other unsuspecting inmate. Not a single inmate objects to this or says anything. They all pretend not to have seen this occurrence. They all carefully, stealthily avoid taking this glass themselves. Eventually it is drunk by some one who may or may not, by it, become infected by a very robust strain of influenza, salmonella, listeria, staphylococcus, streptococcus or other dread disease.

Thanks a billion, you hordes of incompetent, uncaring, ignorant authorities and inmates!

You people at the Health Department can, with one phone call, cure this nonsensical way of spreading supergerms immediately. Or, you can act like the standard, routine government bureaucrats and ignore this problem until it becomes endemic and un-ignorable.

I’ve already been ignored, delayed and threatened over this by the worthless, harmful prison bureaucracy. Now it is your turn to demonstrate your incompetence or efficiency as I work this problem up through the local, state and federal levels. Which will be your choice?

Sincerely,

James Bauhaus

Prison Milk: $24,000 per glass

In addition to being extremely unsanitary, prison milk service is extremely expensive for taxpayers, and extremely lucrative for prison guards. How does this come to be? It begins at the Oklahoma State Penitentiary dairy where the cheapest milk in the State is made with virtually free prisoner labor. From there it is distributed to at least 31 different prison slave compounds holding 24,000-plus captives. Each captive is restricted to one glass of milk, three times per week. Oklahoma captives are fed very poorly, and one of the foods that is usually fit to consume is milk. Hence they often try to get away with drinking more on the sly. This is prohibited, and guards are assigned exclusively to police the milk line and to punish prisoners who take a second glass. When a milk guard catches a captive taking more than his share, he takes the captive’s name. Often, at the end of breakfast for 1,000 captives, the milk guard will have collected five to ten names. Papers of indictment are filled out, and the prisoners are promptly “convicted” in a guard’s “Court”. The captives are punished by taking away up to a year of their “good” time, and preventing them from accruing more “good” time for a minimum of four months. This means that, on average, each captive caught stealing a glass of milk will stay in prison 404 days longer than he would have otherwise. It costs Oklahoma taxpayers about $20,000 per year per prisoner to keep these captives in their cages. So, each of those single glasses of milk costs about $24,000! Obviously, too, if it ever seems that any of these guards are going to get laid off, he can make his own job security by going on a pencil rampage. If his kids need jobs with the Department of “Corrections”, pencil rampage! Unlimited employment, controlled by the grunts who have too much power to indulge their petty-minded schemes.